Primus Tempus
by SecanzaZheak
Summary: Since a long time back, Dean had been carrying feelings he didn't want anyone ever finding out about. But after reuniting with Sam and the tragic death of his girlfriend, the wicked feelings suddenly became a lot harder to suppress. Could this be the destruction of the brothers' relationship, or the beginning of a new one...? M-rated for a reason, wincest, don't like, don't read!


****** Tag for episode 1.7 "Hook Man" ******  
 ****** Since a long time back, Dean had been carrying feelings he didn't want anyone ever finding out about. But after reuniting with Sam and the tragic death of his girlfriend, the wicked feelings suddenly became a lot harder to suppress. Could this be the destruction of the brothers' relationship, or the beginning of a new one...? ******  
 ****** M-rated for a reason, wincest, don't like, don't read! ******

 ****** This is meant to be chapter 1 of a series of episode-tagged stories. So please let me know what you think or if you have suggestions or ideas you would like to see in future chapters! ****  
** **DISCLAIMER: Yeah, this is FANfiction, so nah, don't own anything. ;) ******

 **Primus Tempus**

Dean waited in the driver seat of the Impala as Sam said goodbye to Lori. He watched them in the side mirror, saw her smile and take his brother's hand. An instinctive sting of jealousy hit him. He suppressed it quickly, like he'd trained himself to do for pretty much as long as he could remember.  
Yes, it was wrong in every sense of the word. He was sure the majority of all sane people would even call it downright sick. That was why he'd always done everything to keep his own screwed up feelings to himself, protecting his brother even from himself. Disguising all his affection as brotherly love and any suspicion of bisexuality with excessive flirting with girls. But after meeting up with Sam again after all those years apart, suddenly ignoring and hiding those feelings had proved more difficult by the day.  
He caught himself watching his brother longingly, with a warm feeling inside, as Sam finally came walking towards the car. Startled by suddenly having his brother beside him while the thoughts still lingered, he blurt out:  
"We could stay...?" He didn't really mean it. Sam deserved happiness, Dean would any day sacrifice his own for it. But he knew relationships like these never worked out for people like them, and so knew his brother.  
Sam shook his head slightly without a word and stared morosely in front of him as Dean wheeled the car out onto the highway.

Sam didn't speak much for the aimless drive out of Iowa. When it got dark and Dean's shoulders started to ache from driving, he pulled into a small roadside motel. They checked in and took their bags from the car. As soon as they got into the small room Sam locked himself in the bathroom – the sound of water flowing came out from the door.  
Dean shook off his jacket, let it fall down on the bed closest to the door. After a minute he fell down after it. With his hands behind his head he gazed absent-mindedly onto the ceiling. A while later Sam came out of the bathroom, clean clothes clearly forgotten judging from the small towel wrapped around his bare waist. Dean glanced at him from the corner of his eyes, not able to restrain himself. A twinge of want suddenly hit him. A spark right below his belly button, leaving him pleasantly nervous, but sad and nostalgic at the same time. He would never get what he most truly wanted.  
Sam remained silent as he put on a pair of sweatpants and a worn t-shirt. He sat down on the other bed, seemingly without anything to say nor do.  
"You okay?" Dean asked softly and sat up slowly. Sam stared down to the floor for a few seconds before answering.  
"Yeah. Or... You know, just thinking about her... Jess, I mean...", he said quietly. "I think I'm just gonna get some sleep... G'night..." Dean watched him for a minute with a concerned look in his eyes before answering.  
"Yeah, goodnight."

In the middle of night Dean woke up from a loud, harsh cry. He flew up from his bed, knife from under his pillow gripped tight in his hand. But as he quickly looked around the dark room, he realized Sam was just having another nightmare. He put down his knife and went over to sit down on the edge of his brother's bed. Sam's face was streaming with sweat, wet strands of hair plastered to his forehead. Dean reached out and carefully brushed them back. His fingers lingered, gently touching the soft skin on his brother's cheek.  
"... Dean?" Sam suddenly mumbled. Dean recoiled immediately, but remained seated on the bed.  
"It's okay. You had another nightmare, that's all." He smiled reassuringly and placed a firm hand on Sam's shoulder. Sam tried to give an answer, but the words disappeared in his drowsy voice. "Try 'n' get some sleep, 'kay?" Dean began to rise from the bed, but Sam suddenly gripped his arm tightly.  
"Dean...", he whispered again. Reaching higher and tugging at Dean's shirt, dragging him down.  
"Sam... What're you...?" he asked, stunned by his brother's sudden despair. He wasn't sure what exactly Sam wanted and the last thing he wanted what to let his twisted and sleepy mind come to any conclusions on its own. But Sam just kept clutching at Dean's shirt, eyes barely open and his breath coming short, like he was close to crying.  
"I'm here, little brother. Right here. You're gonna be okay." He stroked his brother's hair slowly.  
"... stay...", Sam finally managed to whisper past his ragged breaths. The faint light shining through the motel-room blinds was reflected in Sam's teary eyes. Suddenly it was all just too much for Dean. Sam's forlorn appearance calling out to the core of Dean's very being, where the only thing that mattered was Sam being safe and happy.  
"Of course", he whispered as he pulled up the cover and lay down beside his brother, having to press himself up against his side on the narrow bed. Sam turned to his side, let his hand rest on Dean's chest and head on his shoulder. He hummed contently and Dean felt Sam's breath even as he fell back to sleep. Dean on the other hand felt his own heart race, while breathing normally suddenly became an impossible task. He carefully placed his hand on top of Sam's and closed his eyes, but not sure if he would be able to – or even wanted to – fall asleep right then.

When Dean opened his eyes again, the room flowing with morning light, he woke up to what was probably the best morning in his life. Sam's scent was in his every breath, his warmth surrounding him completely and firm muscle pressed tightly against every part of his body. Their arms and legs were all tangled up. Sam's face dangerously close to Dean's. Dean felt his heart pounding in his chest – as wonderful as it could have been, he was terrified. He'd unconsciously let himself take advantage of his brother in his sleep. Sam would never look at him the same again.  
Very carefully Dean tried to wriggle out of his brother's limbs. But like a freak of fate Sam obviously woke up. Dean found himself staring right into his brother's sparkly, hazel eyes. His hand around Dean's neck.  
"Er... hi...", he whispered shakily. Sam smiled fondly and moved his thumb to caress the slight bristles on Dean's cheek. Their lips were mere inches apart as the brothers shared the same air for a couple of tense seconds. Then Sam suddenly lowered his gaze and slowly bent his head forward. It wasn't a real kiss, just a tentative touch of lips – an invitation.  
"S-sam...?", Dean breathed, barely audibly. Sam bent back again and met his brother's eyes.  
They lay staring at each other for a minute or two before Dean cleared his throat and started untangling himself. He forced a laugh and rose from the bed. "I'm sorry, hehe, we must really have moved around a lot while we slept, huh?" He started to walk towards the bathroom, turning his back against his brother, face flushed red from chin to ears. But suddenly Sam was on his feet as well and had his strong arms folded around Dean. He stood behind him, head resting on top of Dean's. Dean turned around slowly.  
"Sam... what're you doing?" Sam placed his hand at the back of Dean's head and lowered his gaze just like before. Dean felt his heart skip a beat. He refrained himself five last, painful seconds. Then almost a decade of willpower was suddenly all drained out.  
He gave in and finally kissed his brother. Sam's lips were incredibly soft. Dean ran his fingers through his equally soft hair. His mind was a haze, there was no way this was really happening. When Sam was away, he couldn't stop himself from imagining moments like these. Moments when their sweet brother love turned into something deeper, when their hidden desires for each other were revealed...  
Sam opened his mouth a little, just slightly touching Dean's lips with the tip of his tongue. Dean inhaled sharply as excitement exploded inside him. He wanted this so bad, had always wanted it. But that wasn't what was most important...  
"Do you want this?" Dean whispered, scared of hearing the answer, but having to ask all the same. Sam hummed quietly and gave him the slightest of nods, a shy smile on his lips and the same fear Dean felt was reflected in his eyes. This was too unbelievable... that Sam all of a sudden... Dean's hazy thoughts couldn't quite grasp the situation.  
Then it suddenly hit him. Of course. This wasn't Sam. He panicked instantly, a feeling like an bucket of ice-cold water had just been poured over him. He threw himself down on to the floor where his bag was, trying to find something to defend himself with. Sam stared at him in shock.  
"D-dean...?" Sam took a few hesitant steps towards his brother.  
"Step back, shifter!" Dean yelled, pointing his gun – unfortunately not silver-bullet loaded – at the imposter.  
"Hey, whoah, Dean! It's me! I've been with you this whole time, I'm not a shifter!"  
"That's not true... While we slept..." Dean felt a couple of sweat beads fall down his forehead. "And n-now... you...?" He could barely get the words out. Someone was playing a very cruel joke on him.  
"It's me Dean", Sam said softly and approached him slowly, hands stretched out in front of him. "You asked me if I wanted this... I do! I always have. Part of the reason why I left... " He paused and swallowed, his voice going quiet and unsteady. "... was because it simply too hard for me to be around you any longer! I couldn't handle it. Couldn't wait for you to find out how screwed up I am..." Before he could stop it, a small sob escaped him. Dean dropped the gun without thinking and embraced his brother firmly, burying his face in Sam's shoulder.  
"That's how I always felt...", Dean whispered. Sam stroked his back with one hand, the other one in Dean's hair.  
"I didn't know for sure, of course...", Sam said, Dean could hear the smile in his voice. "... but I sensed something was different with you now... How you looked at me..." He laughed softly and Dean groaned in embarrassment into Sam's shirt, but gave a small laugh too.  
"I guess I was out of practice at hiding it. You know... I missed you so much..."  
"I know... me too..." Sam placed his lips on the top of Dean's head. They stood like that for a long while, embracing each other and inhaling each other.  
"S-so... what now?" Dean finally asked shakily, leaning back to bashfully meet his brother's eyes. Sam gave a strained laugh in an attempt to loosen the tense and awkward mood that had suddenly evolved.  
"Whatever you want... brother...", he whispered and kissed Dean tentatively, much like before, as an invitation. This time Dean had no chance at holding back. He grabbed Sam's face with both his hands and pressed his lips firmly against him. Sam opening up to his venturing tongue as a deliciously soft moan escaped his lips. Dean let himself explore and taste all of Sam's mouth, their tongues swirling around each other in a hunger build up for much too long.  
They parted to catch their breaths. Dean pushing Sam slowly backwards to sit down on Dean's bed. While maintaining an intense and lustful eye contact Dean sat down next to his brother and reconnected their lips. Soon he started to kiss and lick at Sam's clean shaved jawbone and down at his neck. Sam let go of another moan which Dean returned as he started to pull on Sam's collar to reach more of his skin. He was quite positive he'd never been this turned on in his life. He pressed himself against Sam to remain his upright position, as the dizziness of getting too hard, too fast suddenly hit him. Sam closed his arms more tightly around Dean's back, pressing him even tighter. Dean could feel he firm bulge in Sam's sweatpants press against his own entrapped erection.  
"Aah...", he gasped quietly, fingers clenching the back of Sam's shirt. "Sam... God... want you so much...", he slurred, his mind quickly reaching a state even beyond hazy.  
"Hmm... yeah... me too", Sam hummed, starting to pull at Dean's shirt. One hand slipping underneath, his fingers passing over the contours on Dean's stomach. Dean got the idea and swiftly tugged off his shirt, soon after helping Sam get out of his too. They shared a deep kiss, their hands slowly and still with some shyness getting to know the other one's body. Dean groaned with want into Sam's mouth as he traced the V-shape on his brother's well ripped stomach, disappearing down into his pants.  
They pulled apart to catch their breath, Dean lightly fingering at prominent shape in the soft fabric.  
"C-can I... touch you...?" Dean asked quietly, his cheeks going red.  
"Of c-course", Sam gasped. Dean felt Sam's fingers digging into his back as he gently rubbed Sam's cock through his pants. He moaned into Dean's neck, instinctively bucking his hips to fell more of his brother's touch he'd been craving for so long.  
Dean pressed a hand to Sam's chest, prompting him to lay down. Dean pulled off the last remaining clothing of Sam and was suddenly presented with the gorgeous sight of his brother, all naked, expectantly waiting for Dean with lustful eyes. A sharp spark of pleasure hit Dean right in his lower stomach and he realized it wouldn't take very much more effort from his brother's side for him to lose it. He hurriedly pulled his own sleeping-pants off along with his boxer-shorts and lay down on the bed, half on top of his brother and with one hand fingering lightly along Sam's length. Sam pulled Dean closer to him, kissing him passionately with one hand around his neck. Dean moved so he was now fully lying on top of his brother, their groins pressed together, causing wonderful friction.  
Dean breathed his brother's name, hands touching whichever part of him they could reach. Sam copied his movements for a while before settling with one hand on the spot where Dean's neck met his shoulder, and the other stroking both of their cocks together in a steady rhythm. Dean felt both of their breathing getting faster. He got down to suck and lick at the tender skin on Sam's neck, earning a drawn out moan of pleasure from his brother. This was their first time, the time he'd been dreaming of for so long. There was so much he wanted to do. He wanted to touch Sam in every way possible, be close to him every way possible. If Sam ended up regretting this later, at least – he thought in the haze of need - he would make the most of it. But as he felt, with a pleasingly flutter deep inside, the end getting closer, he realized he wouldn't last much longer than that. He let an embarrassingly needy whimper escape his lips. Sam grasped at his short hair with his one free hand and kissed him.  
"Ah... God, Dean... I don't think I'm gonna... damn...!" He gasped sharply, followed by a low groan as Sam felt Dean enclose his own hand around their shafts as well. Dean kissed him back softly and whispered.  
"Me neither..." They moved together and gave a dozen of simultaneous strokes – their hands braded together around their leaking cocks. They were face to face, breathing in one another, eyes locked together. Dean put his second hand on the side of his little brother's face. He saw the change in his eyes as he finally lost it, gave in and was overwhelmed by intense pleasure. His face was flustered and glistered slightly with sweat, his breath swallow and fast. Dean moaned deeply as all of the sensations caused him to join his brother in the short-lived bliss that had suddenly deepened their love to a whole new level. He came hard and intense while still stroking his brother through the last waves of his orgasm. Sam kissed him languidly for a minute as they both chased the lingering pleasure and feeling of absolute love and trust for each other.  
After a while Dean rolled off Sam, reaching for a dirty shirt of the floor to clean them up with. He kissed him, open-mouthed and with tongues swirling in slow movements, as he first wiped off their combined come off Sam's well ripped stomach and then his own. He threw the shirt aside and slumped down beside his brother, laying out his arm so Sam could snuggle up close against Dean's chest.  
Now when the heat of the moment had passed, his insecure feeling started to ache inside him again. What if Sam suddenly realized this was one big terrible mistake? What if it actually wasn't Sam after all...? Maybe he, himself, should put an end to it and save his little brother from the wicked path they've just embarked on? Then, as quickly as the thoughts had arose, they were shattered like glass by Sam's soft whisper:  
"Love you, Dean." Dean felt his face light up in a smile, felt warmth spreading in his chest. He pulled his brother closer to him.  
"Me too, Sammy... always..."

 _Tbc..._


End file.
